Just Naming It

About a year ago I was sitting in Bible study venting about my son's recent behavior problems at school. A friend across the table comments, "Don't take this the wrong way, because you know I love "B" so much, but... Well, have you ever thought he may actually have a reason?" Yes, I thought. His ADHD is a problem. Yes, his temper is a problem. Yes, his stubbornness is a problem. There is more than A reason. She continued, "You know my grandson has Asperger's. I think you wouldn't be wrong to have "B" evaluated." I sat there with tears in my eyes thinking about all that I knew about Asperger Syndrome... The dad in Dear John; Max and Hank on Parenthood. I could admittedly see some similarities, but was scared to actually persue any type of diagnosis. I DID ask his pediatrician's advice. He, with an air of dismissal, said he didn't see any signs to worry about. 

 But the nagging in my heart did not go away. 

 A few weeks later I'm minding my own business reading my Bible study book - "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I'm sitting at the car dealership waiting on a new tire. I'm alone but surrounded by people. And as I read, I could almost hear the voice of God saying, "I need you to hear this." Ann is talking about her farmer/rancher husband and pigs. Pigs that were sick and kept dying. Something was wrong but they didn't know what. After much frustration and loss, he finally found out what the cause was. And it wasn't good. But, "just naming it" gave him peace. Just being able to know what the problem was. Just being able to say it's THIS. And I knew. Right there, right then, without any word from a doctor or psychologist. I knew. My son had something wrong and it has a name. And... I was okay. I had a strange peace about it that I hadn't before. Just to name it. 

 A few months later my son is having some new issues at school - this time with anger. His doctor, still so sure that my boy does not have Asperger's, refers me to a psychologist who specializes in anger management. We go to her office and within 5 minutes, she says, "Have you ever thought about having him evaluated for Asperger's?" 

 And I laughed to myself. It has a name.